workthroughit | Treatment Plan [For Samael]

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Treatment Plan [For Samael]

The office is on a quiet side street of the otherwise bustling Commercial District, tucked between a pharmacy and a glassware shop. It's easy to miss; in fact, it's not uncommon that someone looking for the practice wouldn't even see it until they walked past it once or twice. And good luck noticing it at all if you aren't seeking the good Dr. Hill.

There is no waiting room; the front door opens right into his office. Floor to ceiling bookshelves, an old fashioned victrola softly playing Bach, stained wood filing cabinets, paintings of a distinctly religious (possibly demonic) baroque nature, a desk identical to the one that had been in the Nexus upon their first meeting. There's the banker's light, the metronome, along with an embossed silver nameplate and a handsome little stone statue of a black panther.

Regardless of how quick she may have travelled or the fact she did not see him in passing, the doctor is standing at the broad and bright window on northern wall. A window that should be facing nothing but a brick wall, had she paid attention to the orientation of the street and building before entering. But soft, yellow sunlight filters through and there is the distant sound of traffic. He appears to be watching it with mild interest by the time he hears the door open.

"Ah! So glad you could make it. Please, have a seat, and we can begin."

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A shrug, "I don't really do family reunions."

A soft chuckle.

"Most likely. It wouldn't be the first time I've died."

"But it's the first time you've woken up looking like you do now. Correct?"

The clock against the wall chimes softly, just once, and the doctor waits for the sound to pass before continuing.

"So! Where do we go from here. What is the solution you'd care to find, moving forward? A way back home? A way back to your former self? A way back to your mother?" For reasons he'll leave her to determine, of course.

"That is correct."

She pauses in thought.

"I really have no use for mother any longer I suppose... so my former self. I'd like to restore myself to my true form."

"Excellent! It's always good to grow and distance yourself from toxic family members, after all." And that totally sums up an admission from a living person saying their own mother killed them, right? Right! He cheerfully jots down another thought or two before looking up once more, smiling expectantly.

"And what does that entail? What needs to be done to become yourself again?"

"She wasn't really toxic, just no longer useful."

If anything she would be the toxic one, not that she'd admit that.

"That's where I become unsure. You see, I've never had this problem before."

"Well, let's work backwards then."

He shifts in his seat, getting comfortable, straightening his back, crossing his legs. Tilts his chin up as he looks inquiringly down his nose at the young lady.

"What were you before?"

She leaned back in her own seat and folded her hands in her lap.

"I thought I told you. I was a god, well to some, to others I guess I was more... demonic?"

A laugh.

"I guess it all depends on how you look at me."

"Well, as our conversation in the Nexus included, sometimes gods and demons can be a little..." He scrunches up his face, rocks his hand in a so-so gesture, "...interchangeable. One man's devil is another man's patron!"

Dr. Hill sits back a moment, eyes drifting up towards the upper panes of the window, thinking to himself for a time before glancing back to Samael with a smile.

"There are some things that strengthen gods. Offerings. Worship. Prayers. Sacrifice. Would pursuit of these seem like something constructive?"

"Exactly."

She sighs heavily, and plays with a bit of her hair.

"But would the usual work for the unusual problem?"

"You never know until you try!" is the cheerful reply. Then he sets aside his pen and paper to stand, pacing around the office as he thinks a bit further. He turns back to Samael with a raised finger.

"How do you think you'll present yourself to the Nexus? Lost girl? Kind angel? Trapped god? How you approach this may very well shape how we proceed."

"I suppose. Perhaps a sacrifice would be in order then? But it seems like that's not really possible here, is it?"

She placed her hands under her chin in deep thought.

"Well, I suppose I should try to keep from making too many enemies. Perhaps I should just keep my distance for now. Watch for a while, then decide how to portray my new self."

"Not in the conventional sense, no. But you'd be surprised what could be considered a sacrifice. It doesn't have to always involve blood and death. There are workarounds."

And regarding her second answer, he nods. "Gods aren't unheard of in the Nexus. Neither are people who are a little, ehhh, ambiguous as to what they exactly are. You should hear the speculations on me! Hahah."

"But it may not be as potent that way!"

A chuckle.

"I would like to hear about those speculations. As far as for myself, until I know how people will respond I'd like to remain more... private."

"Not as potent, no, but perhaps more plentiful. Imagine if you asked for little things. A lock of hair, a drop of blood. How quickly that would add up, were you to offer favours or blessings in return!"

As far as hearing about speculations on himself, that seems to only prompt an enigmatic smile before continuing onto her decision of disclosure. "A wise choice. Have you told any aside from myself that you're a god? Please, be honest."

"Such small things are worth nothing to me."

"I have told only one other. She is but a doll though, and will cause me no troubles. In fact so far she has been quite useful to me."

"Oh! The Doll. Yes, I've met her recently. She is someone I have a profound interest in as well." As well as a sad, sick sort of kinship, but no need to divulge that just yet.

"I think you severely underestimate the power of parts of self given freely! Why, fragments of another being, no matter how small, can be building blocks to rebirth and creation. But I will let you determine how you care to proceed."

"She is quite lovely, isn't she?"

A tilt of her head.

"Small building blocks may build magnificent towers, but it takes much longer. I'm not sure I have that kind of time."

"What does a god have if not time? You'll outlive us all, won't you? Or are you afraid of your mortal body failing you before you reach your goal?"

"I told you, didn't I, that I fear nothing?"

Or so she'll say.

"I just have better things that could be done with my time."

He laughs softly, still smiling as he replies, "Better things? Better than being restored to your former glory? Unless you're resigned to keeping in your human shell. There's a great deal that mortals experience that gods never can, after all."

He crosses the room once more to take his seat near Samael again, sighing. "But keep in mind that humans are still finite."

She sighs deeply and rubs her forehead. Sameal was always easily frustrated, and her current situation wasn't helping any with that. She stared out the window.

"I guess I'm at a loss for what I want, or need, or what would be best."

After all this mortal form could hardly contain her previous power, let alone her knowledge. She felt like a watered down version of herself.

The window's view is nice. Soft sunlight filtering through glowing clouds, overlooking a park and a busy thoroughfare. Cars go back and forth steadily, sometimes beeping at one another, the low, distant drone of their engines always a faint background noise.

"Perhaps you need time. You could very well be struggling with shock right now. Because what a shock it is to go to sleep as one thing and wake up another! Very Kafkaesque."

She lets herself be lost in the drum of the outside life for a moment. She found herself adsorbed in watching the people. These beings that normally would be nothing more than ants to her on a normal day.

"Perhaps I am in shock? I wouldn't know."

"Perhaps talking about your past self will help get a clearer look on things." He picks up his paper and pen again, ready to take notes on anything he considers relevant. "What sort of god were you? What manner of worship? What sort of offerings? What was your divine scope? Please. Tell me anything and everything."

"Do you really think that will help?"

"I was powerful, and well respected among my followers. I was strict, as I should be. Offerings depended on the sect, and individuals involved. It's hard to remember who did what now..."

A heavy sigh.

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