Harrow squints at that description. It sounds like someone he might know. Female pronouns, made to serve man, not alive, can't take in sensations. But... Limited emotional range? He can't be talking about Blaze. She seemed as able to feel emotions as himself. Unless...
He's not going to bother himself with the implications of that last thought.
"On the very first day I asked Viatorus if he wanted to be undead in his real body. I used to ask everyone that, but... I think I don't want to anymore. He told me that he's very happy bein' alive. And Steve, when I first got turned into him? I said it was awful, and I'd rather be dead, and it hurt him a lot. He said he was proud to be him no matter how hard it was.
"I think they helped me remember that the living deserve to live their lives, even though mine's ended. And I don't wanna call my friends 'breathers' anymore, either, even if I feel like that's easier to say. I think it was mean all along, and even when I said it for fun I kinda... Thought less about 'em when I used that word?
"But..."
He rubs at his eyes and tries to force a laugh, but it dies in his throat as a raspy wheeze.
"I got to feel some nice stuff? I tasted Earth food at a fancy dinner. I had a dream, and that was nice, even if it wasn't my own. I took a shower." He makes a single laugh that closes his eyes and pushes out the tears that had been welling there. "And it was warm. And I was warm. And it was nice."
As his whole face turns red and he continues to cry he fights with all his focus to keep up the appearance that he's smiling. Even as his throat swells and his nose and eyes are watering he struggles against his quivering lips to look like everything is still alright.
Through the cracking of his voice he says, "I know I gotta die again. I know. But I remembered there's some... Some good things in life. And if I had to make the choice all over again, to live or to die? I wouldn't choose to die. Not this time."
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He's not going to bother himself with the implications of that last thought.
"On the very first day I asked Viatorus if he wanted to be undead in his real body. I used to ask everyone that, but... I think I don't want to anymore. He told me that he's very happy bein' alive. And Steve, when I first got turned into him? I said it was awful, and I'd rather be dead, and it hurt him a lot. He said he was proud to be him no matter how hard it was.
"I think they helped me remember that the living deserve to live their lives, even though mine's ended. And I don't wanna call my friends 'breathers' anymore, either, even if I feel like that's easier to say. I think it was mean all along, and even when I said it for fun I kinda... Thought less about 'em when I used that word?
"But..."
He rubs at his eyes and tries to force a laugh, but it dies in his throat as a raspy wheeze.
"I got to feel some nice stuff? I tasted Earth food at a fancy dinner. I had a dream, and that was nice, even if it wasn't my own. I took a shower." He makes a single laugh that closes his eyes and pushes out the tears that had been welling there. "And it was warm. And I was warm. And it was nice."
As his whole face turns red and he continues to cry he fights with all his focus to keep up the appearance that he's smiling. Even as his throat swells and his nose and eyes are watering he struggles against his quivering lips to look like everything is still alright.
Through the cracking of his voice he says, "I know I gotta die again. I know. But I remembered there's some... Some good things in life. And if I had to make the choice all over again, to live or to die? I wouldn't choose to die. Not this time."